Cancer still sucks….

So, I’m still as busy as ever. Thankfully, we took some time the weekend before last to visit our favorite place, Disney! We had a great time, although, if you know Disney, it’s not exactly a relaxing vacation. We were able to visit Food and Wine at Epcot and ride all of our favorite rides at the Magic Kingdom. It was our first time back at the parks in over a year and a half, and it was so exciting to be able to return. It was also my first time visiting as a plant-based eater. I ate my way around Food and Wine and sampled some delicious vegan specialties. Caleb was my little helper and kept track of our food in the booklet they give you as you travel ‘around the world’.

    My helper










He also had a pretzel from Germany that was bigger than his head. 

Big pretzel









We also were able to meet up with one of my fave former students, Marshal, who is interning at Disney. He was my fellow Disney addict when he was a student and now he is working there, soon to become famous, I’m sure.

Fun at Disney Springs

Lovely time, but alas, we had to return to reality, and for me, that meant a return to the kitchen to keep up with all my orders. Yes, I’m still cooking A LOT! It’s become second nature now and I can whip out meals like no tomorrow. And yes, I still hate the dishes. I’m making around 40 lunches and several dinners a week now. Crazy, I know! I enjoy cooking and I can make extra money and still be at home with Caleb, which is nice. I’m getting much better at the menu planning, so that harder dishes occur when I have more time and I can make recipes that do well in bulk. I’m feeling really proud of how people are taking to the dishes, and how I am taking care of Caleb and myself. And I want to thank a couple of my friends, Tracey and Jen D. for stopping by to visit last week and helping me wash dishes. Hey, if you want to chat and keep your hands busy, feel free to stop by.

Buddha Bowls








Now for the not-so-good news. A week or so ago, I shared that I was going in to see the Moffitt endocrinologist due to seeing some activity on my thyroid from my last scan. Well, I met with the doctor last week and based on the findings, she sent me for an ultrasound that afternoon. She had told me that anything over 1 cm would have to be biopsied. She also said that she wanted to see rounded edges and no increased vascular flow. I had the ultrasound and then waited for the results, praying for all to be clear. On Wednesday, I found out that there were several nodules..masses…tumors…or whatever you want to call them. I call them POCTDTBIH (pieces of crap that deserve to burn in hell) and that they were all over the 1 centimeter that determines a need for a biopsy, with the largest being 2.6 cm. There is also one where the mass is intertwined with a muscle. And of course, they also have lobulated edges and all have vascular flow. You know me. I’ve got to go for a 100%. The report labels them as “intermediate suspicion”. Definitely not the news that I wanted! In fact, I was pretty angry and upset. I AM SO SICK OF CANCER! I am sick of being sick, of having interruptions in my life, and of having treatments. Of course, I am jumping to conclusions based on my history. First, I get to go in next Monday and get a needle approximately 5 inches long inserted into my neck to take out pieces of the nodules to test for cancer cells. And I only get local numbing…even better. Then I get to wait for around 3 days to find out anything. And then, I go in the next Monday to have a full scan to see if I have cancer anywhere else. Nothing to worry about, right? Well, I must say…it sucks BIG TIME! Anyway, I think I am currently in the angry stage of the 5 stages of grief. I have already been through the disbelief, etc. etc. I am sure I will make it to bargaining soon. I will just put it out there…I don’t want to die! I am sick of cancer and its ability to completely stop and change my life. I am doing everything I can possibly do to keep it away. My son and I are doing well. I am working hard, but its worth it because i am able to support myself and Caleb, pay off bills, and have the ability to take a small vacation if we want. I don’t want any of that interrupted! I am working to be my best self and helping others along the way. I am one chapter away from finishing my nutrition class, and I am greatly enjoying this school year with the students. I have a lot of energy and I feel good. I just can’t imagine all of this being interrupted, yet again. Needless to say, I am going to be a mess until this is resolved. I am trying to stay strong, especially for Caleb, but I have my moments. I told him this weekend about what they found and the next steps and he took it pretty well. He just assumes that I am going to go in and get it done again. So, if you haven’t got anything else from this rant, please do get that I need prayers and good thoughts. I don’t want or need pity, which I know none of you will do. I will be fine! I am also going to just go ahead and ask for forgiveness now if I am a little snappy during the next 2 weeks. I’m working hard to stay calm and just keep going.

Okay, so now that that is out…side notes. Please keep me busy cooking which helps to keep my mind on other things. I love the planning. I love the shopping with my son. And I love creating healthy and delicious dishes. So order away. And I will keep you updated as I find out any news.

God bless and good night.

8 thoughts on “Cancer still sucks….”

  1. LOVE, PRAYERS and GREAT thoughts of strength, HOPE and for God’s amazing HEALING Hand on your life. This is a chapter for your book my friend!! See you Monday!!

Comments are closed.